ThreeSixty -

By Isiah Dennis and Paris Porter

Isiah Dennis is a senior in St. Paul. He is a youth council president at Camphor Memorial United Methodist Church in St. Paul. And he has pledged to delay having sex until he is married. Paris Porter, a member of ThreeSixty’s youth advisory board, asked Isiah via e-mail about his decision. Here’s what Isiah had to say.

When did you decide to stay abstinent until marriage? And why?

I decided to stay abstinent around age 9 or 10 because I wanted to be a father to my kids and be there for them. As an African American male, I see children growing up hard, and one of the reasons is because they didn’t have a dad, a male figure to give them love, care, etc.

I want to be there for my kids so they can know how it feels like growing up with both parents.

Did you take a pledge?

I took a pledge with Ujima Teen Pregnancy Prevention and Healthy Youth Development Program and I also made a pledge with myself. I been in it for about three years and I’m a peer educator teaching teens how to stay abstinent.

You said you grew up hard without your mom and dad. How did it affect your decision to stay abstinent?

It was hard growing up without a mom and dad on my side. I saw my mom once a year when I was little. My grandmother and grandfather raised me. Even though I did not see my mom very often, I still had love for her and I knew she would come back. She did, and now we have a much better relationships. I also have gotten a chance to be there for my little brother, Charlie. I had only seen my dad once in my life. Then he left me and I never saw him again until last year. Even though my parents were not there for me during my early years, the experience taught me how much I needed them and how teens and kids suffer from that.

How do you stay away from the pressures and not fall into it, especially when your friends are sexually active?

Honestly, it’s hard but I say scripture in my head and find something to do. But in general I just stick to what I believe.

Do people tease you about your decision?

I really don’t get teased by people; I get support from my friends. My friends sometimes be joking around about me being a virgin and staying abstinent. But I do get support from my friends, church, and family.

When you talked about prom night, you said it would be hard to resist if you were with the right girl and she touched you in the right place. I wonder how you plan for prom night.

Yes, I’m going to my prom. I still looking for a girl to go out for prom, and whoever the girl is, she is going to be treated like royalty. She will be a queen for me. My cousin and I are helping each other out by going half and half on the limo.

A few days before prom I want to take my date to a spa so we can get a massage and get pampered — just a chance for us to relax and get to know each other more. My plan for prom night is to pick up my date, take her out to eat before or after prom, go to prom and have fun. After prom, though, I’ll take my date home if she wants to go home or have a hotel room already rented for the night and chill. Sex is not on mind for prom. I just want to have a good time.

How do UJIMA and your church help you to resist the pressure

By having something for the youth and teens to do. I’m the Youth Council President/ Youth Leader of Camphor so I help run the things we do for the teens in the church. We all are comfortable to talk about being abstinent; there isn’t any shame.

Even if you come into our church and you already had sex and you didn’t decide to be abstinent, trust and believe, we are not going to talk about you, be mad, get at you, or make you feel like and outsider. At Camphor, you can just come in and we will welcome you in open arms. If you need any help we will try our best to help you out.

For information about Camphor Methodist and the Ujima program, go to ujima.camphorfoundation.org or e-mail Ujima@camphorfoundation.org