Friends' support got student back to school

By Julie Nguyen of Edison High School

My friend Nico isn’t high-maintenance any more. He wears a pair of jeans, short hair, a loose T-shirt and flip-flops. He takes his algebra book home to do homework. What’s most amazing is when we’re together, we have silences now.

A year ago, he came to school wearing dress shirts, a Mohawk and double chains around his hips. In class, when he was there, he was texting and talking constantly.

“Let’s just do our work,” I’d say.

“Party-pooper,” Nico would answer. Six months later, he gave up on school and dropped out.

When I think about Nico giving up on himself, I remember being a bit disappointed but still hopeful. Now that I see him trying to get himself together and graduate, I know that worrying about him and pushing him was worth my time.

Two years ago in sophomore year, when I met Nick, he had long shaggy hair and had his lip and eyebrow pierced. He was lean. He wore a lot of black and loved rock music. Though our minds were set differently, we connected.

When I was younger, I was really shy. My family moved a lot, and it was hard for me to fit in. Nico brought me out of my shell. He came from a difficult background, too, and he wanted to know who I really was.

“We’re gonna be BFFs,” he always said, and he meant it. Having one friend who was really eager to know who I was made it easier to be who I was around other people.

The relationship he has with his family is rough. He thinks his family doesn’t care what he does – they’re busy with their own lives. And he grew up around a lot of drinking and drugs, everything on a downhill.

When he was younger, he cared about his image, his reputation. He was always talking about the latest gossip or his dates. He was stubborn and didn’t care about what people had to say. He was always talking in class or not even showing up.

I always tried my best to convince him to stay in school and party less. I thought he needed some sense of direction, some encouragement to face the future. He would hear me out but not take it to the heart. To him, I was just another person trying to tell him what to do.

He missed school a lot or came to school hung over. He was never prepared. He always ran away from his problems to drugs and alcohol. He’d drink every night, get two hours of sleep and show up about 11 a.m. at third period.

“Where’ve you been,” I’d ask. He’d smile sheepishly in reply.

Then in the afternoon, people would say: “We got a party tonight!”

“I’m down,” he’d cry. I’d get upset but I couldn’t stop him.

His closest friends were on the positive side, but Nico was stuck in the middle. He lived in the moment and never worried about what would happen tomorrow. He let the fame get to him, I would say.

That changed over the summer. Over the summer, Nico said he grew up and realized his decisions were affecting his life in such a negative way. He finally listened to that conscience of his. He saw his friends all determined to finish school, looked back at himself, and wondered, “Where am I going with my life? I’m so lost.”

He wanted to change and set his mind to it. He focused on nothing else but getting himself on the right path.

Two things helped him change, Nico says: his friends and Youth Link, a Minneapolis program that provides counseling, housing, education and other services to young people between 14 and 21. They helped Nico with bus cards, tutors, field trips, expenses, and counseling.

“Youth Link really encouraged me by believing in me and treating me equally like everyone else…Youth Link kept me coming to class, which didn’t give me time to screw up,” he said.

Other friends see the changes, too. “I’m really shocked that’s he’s made it this far,” said Joey Chareunrath, 17. “I mean, I always believed in him, but seeing it happen,” he paused, “is such a relief and incredible!”

When Nico talks about Youth Link, it feels as if he’s talking about a really good friend. Nico has a Youth Link counselor he visits even when he doesn’t have problems.

“She’s like you and Joey to me,” he said. “I can trust her … She checks on my progress and – sure, why not? — she’s helped me become a better person.”

“She is another person who believes in me. There are a lot of people who need help, but she makes it seem like every individual is important just as the other,” Nico said.

When I first met Nico, he wanted to get his G.E.D and attend bartending school. He’s completely changed his mind. “I want to go to MCTC now,” he said. “I want to go somewhere. I don’t want to rely on people anymore, I want to be able to be independent and thrive for myself.”

The new Nico has improved and, I can honestly say, I like him better this way. He’s more calm and collected, and he shows a side that I’d thought I wouldn’t see so soon. He’s learned to control himself and not expose himself to drugs. He’s working hard by taking online classes or working on scholarship applications after school and doing his homework.

Nico is really proud of himself; you can see it in his eyes. It feels good to be catching up and making progress. It’s no longer about anyone else; it’s time for him to be selfish. He’s a strong person who dislikes asking for help. But sometimes, it takes a stronger person to ask for help.

I know in my heart that if Nico could change his life around, just about anyone can. You just have to set your mind and heart to it. There’s nothing you can’t do if you keep a positive attitude, work hard, and maintain a decent GPA!