Exchange student says Pakistan and America share morals

By Falak Sher Marri, 16, of Avalon School

Falak Sher Marri,16, eats Sehri, the meal that Muslims eat before sunrise when their fast begins each day, with his host family. Photo courtesy of Falak Sher Marri

Since coming to America, Marri has experienced many uniquely American things, like going to the Mall of America. Marri is shaking the hand of a person costumed as Dora the Explorer in this picture. Marri said the mall was the biggest he’d ever seen and he got lost three times while trying to leave. Photo courtesy of Falak Sher Marri

Marri stands with a group of Hmong girls at a festival in St. Paul. Photo courtesy of Falak Sher Marri

The most frequently asked question by American teens is: “Do you ride camels to your schools?”

Before arriving in this country, I was curious about Americans. I often wondered about their lifestyle and culture. As an exchange student, my task is to answer the questions I had before coming here.

In my opinion, the lack of understanding between different cultures and nations is the sole reason behind all the disastrous upheavals in the world.

My curiosity to learn about new cultures brought me to the United States. I also thought it would enhance my skills in leadership and youth activism.

My host family surprised me with their concern about Pakistan

I met my Minneapolis host family on Aug. 7. Right away what struck me about them is they were very concerned about the flooding in Pakistan. One-fifth of Pakistan was under water during floods in late July caused by monsoon rains, but fortunately my family was safe and unaffected.

But it was really sad to see starving infants, children dying of water-borne diseases, and families losing their sole breadwinners.

This made me cry, so I wanted to help somehow. With my host family’s help, I organized an open house and gathered $150 for flood victims. And my host family, along with my host grandmother, donated money to UNICEF, an international aid organization with a focus of helping children.

This was the first time I observed how much Americans care about the world. It gave me a very positive impression of Americans.

Ramadan in America

Observing Ramadan in America was also an interesting experience. Waking up at 4 a.m. and doing Sehri, the meal that Muslims eat before sunrise when our fast begins each day, was really different here because in Pakistan my mother prepares Sehri for the whole family. In America, I had to do all that myself.

Iftar, the evening meal when Muslims break their fast, was fun because my host family and I worked together to make the meal.

My host family often waited to eat until I broke my fast and we had Iftar at 8.30 p.m. It made me feel at home.

My host mom also took me to mosque where I offered Friday prayers. I was even more surprised on Eid-ul-Fitr, a celebration that marks the end of Ramadan, when my host mother joined us for the Eid prayers. She even performed religious activities with Muslims. I was really inspired by her positive attitude and solidarity with Muslims. I didn’t think that a non-Muslim would join our prayers and celebrate Eid with us.

Not homesick, but food sick

I haven’t had any culture shock in United States except with food. I’m not homesick but I’m definitely food sick! I miss Pakistani food a lot. Pakistani dishes have a bigger variety of spices in them. American food to me is tasteless except pizza, which I’m fond of.

My host family realized this, so they bought me Pakistani food. We often go to south-Asian restaurants and eat Biryani, rice-based food made with spices, which always makes my mouth water.

Common questions about Pakistan

Americans ask me a lot of questions about my home country, questions about Pakistani lifestyle, culture, education and customs. The most frequent question asked by American teens is: “Do you ride camels to your schools?”

The majority of teens in Pakistan have never ridden a camel.

Another question Minnesotans asked me a lot is if I’d been to the Mall of America. It made me so curious that one day I got my bike out of the garage and rode to the Mall of America by myself after planning the route. It was the biggest shopping mall I’ve ever seen. While leaving the mall, I got lost three times and it took me more than thirty minutes to get to the right gate. I found it annoyingly huge.

I’ve learned a lot of new things about the American lifestyle. I’ve observed that Americans care a lot about time and plan their schedules for upcoming holidays about a month before.

Pakistanis are often casual about time. Americans have a very busy lifestyle while Pakistanis enjoy a simple, casual and highly social life.

School here is easy!

Regarding education, I’m experiencing an entirely different school atmosphere here. I attend Avalon School in St. Paul. Pakistani education is really hard: a fusion of memorization and conceptual understanding.

Schools are highly disciplined and there’s very little tolerance for tardiness. Moreover, students don’t get much choice when picking classes. For example, there are few art subjects.

In most schools, laptops and other electronic items like cell phones are strictly prohibited. And Pakistani students don’t get many opportunities for extracurricular activities.

Another big difference is public schools in America don’t have religious education but in Pakistan, all students are required to take classes about the religion they believe in. By comparison, American school is a piece of cake for me.

We’re different, yes, but also very similar

There are great cultural differences between Pakistan and America, but I’ve seen a lot of similarities as well. Our moral values are the same, like respecting elders, caring for neighbors, helping those in poverty, working toward equality and rehabilitating the needy.

I just wish we could exclude the word “different” when we talk about each other. I believe that all nations have the possibility to unite under one tree with branching common causes: peace, love, human welfare and education.

And based on my experience, studying abroad would be a great way to achieve it. Cultural exchange helps us see how we’re not so different from each other.

When I return to Pakistan

When I read a quote by Albert Einstein on my host family’s fridge, it summed up my whole experience in America so far: “Peace cannot be kept by force.”

I will take the lesson of mutual cooperation back to Pakistan when I return in June.


My time in America is making me confident that I can bring a positive change to the world and contribute toward the sacred causes of peace, love and education.