October Your Turn winners

By Twin Cities teens

The winning essay this month was written by Luis Romero, 16, of Humboldt Senior High. Congrats Luis! The $25 runner-up prizes go to Rachel Mosca, 15, Humboldt; and Sparkle Jones, 17, Humboldt, and two anonymous writers.

Teen sex
By Luis Romero

I’m walking to my classroom and I see a boy and a girl holding hands. I walk into the classroom and see notes being passed around decorated with hearts and “ILYs”. I’m at the cafeteria and I hear a group of girls talking about how they are on the pill. I continue walking and overhear a group of boys talking about how they have condoms. At the end of the day I’m walking to my bus stop and see people selling weed, smoking, and making out.

Learning, having good grades, and doing all your work isn’t as half as important as being in a relationship and getting “laid”. Peer pressure in my opinion is one of the major reasons why teens are having sex.

You don’t want to talk to your parents about sex; you think that would be very awkward. Teachers aren’t really an option either; they are the ones giving you bad grades anyway. Why would you need them in your personal Life? Church? What church? You haven’t attended church since you were like 7 years old, now you have better things to do, like going to the mall. The school clinic’s only good for the cheap condoms that they hand out.

You feel stuck, the only reasonable people you can talk to are your friends, I mean they are your age and can relate. Girls tease each other and say that they aren’t pretty enough to get “laid”. Boys laugh and joke, saying that some of them aren’t “man enough” to have sex. The only way to prove them wrong is to have sex, and telling them all about it. That way you won’t be the one they point out. Now you have something to brag about; even if it wasn’t something you really wanted to do.

Here are the essays of the runners-up:

292
By anonymous

My reason for not being a sexually active teen like other teens is because I’ve learned from my sister that it’s good to wait because otherwise you’ll regret it that you lost (your virginity) at a young age.

I get a lot of lectures from my parents to be careful around my guy friends and always say “No” because they know how much pressure it is when young boys want to experiment. Don’t get me wrong, girls also want to experiment with the fun of having sex. We do think of it but some have more control than others. Girls are more of the “let’s wait” type and almost all guys are the “I want it now” type.

I can give you guys good reasons not to have sex. One is because you never know if the condom will break and you could get the girl pregnant. Another reason is because you could get a disease. Another reason is because if one day you get married you’ll regret it and your partner won’t feel loved. Especially the girl will feel total regret because she might think that her partner won’t love her after he finds out she had sex before getting married. My aunts also found a way to convince me to not have sex before marriage because they have problems with their husbands and they say that their husbands think that they had sex with all these guys and that some how they are not being faithful.

I guess it’s a good thing to wait because then you experience these things with someone who actually loves you and you’re married to. Dont make the wrong choice and have sex with someone who is just going to be with you for a short-term. Boys just make sure that if your going to have sex, wrap your tool and don’t get the girl pregnant.

Sexual decisions
Anonymous

When I was younger, sex did not really have a presence in my life. I never knew much about it until my sister was raped when she was 9 years old, and that was the first view of sex I experienced in my life.

Although it did not effect me directly, it was a heart-felt time for many in my family. I knew sexual abuse was wrong, and I had no intention of learning more about it.

It was not until I was in 8th grade that I really started to become interested in it. I had my first boyfriend, and I automatically felt the pressure to have sex. I remember one occasion when I was sitting in my living room and he started to play with my belt buckle. He was older and obviously had more experience than me and it freaked me out.

Later that year, I started dating another guy who was more my pace. I could tell he was in no hurry to have sex with me. Neither of us were ready, but after a year of dating, we lost our virginity to each other. Influenced by the media, and older siblings or their peers they think sex is the ‘cool’ thing to do, and compels teens to act upon it. Parents play a small role in the sexual presence in their teens lives; teens want to keep their sexual relations to themselves with the exception of their friends and significant others. Teen girls and even women are always gossiping about their sexual experiences. Recently my 12 year old sister came home with a notebook full of sexual content. It contained obscene questions and sexual comments made by both her and some of her friends. Sex is becoming acceptable for younger teens more each year.

Personal struggle with sexual choices
By Sparkle Jones

Many of my peers are vulnerable and naive, believing that engaging in sexual activity will bring popularity or love in some way when really, it doesn’t. You may feel good about your behavior for a short while, but you will regret it when you realize that having sex didn’t bring any of those things, only more confusion and loneliness.

I think this entire issue stems from parenting, having a healthy and very open relationship with your parent or guardian. It’s a parent’s job to talk with you about sex, not completely depending on sex education in the schools to make sure you have the peace and confidence within yourself to understand that you don’t have to have sex until you’re ready. These talks should also be about safe sex if you are going to have sex.

I have a pretty open relationship with my mother and I think she did an exceptional job of preparing me for these types of things in life. She reassured me that I have the choice of making those decisions because it’s my body and I should respect it, no, worship it.

A strong support system begins in the home and if the home is broken, there is no support and therefore a lack of confidence to do what one feels is right. But there are other alternatives if teens can’t find that foundation in the household. Speaking with another trusted adult always helps, someone who will give you clear and accurate information that is in your best interest. You can also talk to your doctor or school nurse to become educated on taking protective measures.

Teen sex: Why can’t they leave well enough alone?
By Rachel Mosca

Sex — an issue we all discuss at one time or another. You talk about it with your parents, teachers, or your friends. But it’s an issue that affects everyone, whether we’re having sex, or being pressured to do it.

I’m abstinent, not just because of my religion or what my parents value, but because I don’t need to show my affection for someone in the bedroom. People all around me in my school and neighborhood are having sex, and more than a few of them have ended up pregnant. In my opinion, a thirteen year old is not equipped with the knowledge or life experience to be a good parent, but nonetheless, they try.

Forget just getting pregnant, STDs – more conveniently re-named sexually transmitted infections rather than diseases as to not scare bed-hopping teens – are an issue as well. AIDS, Gonorrhea, PID and others are a pretty sure-fire way to kill the ‘mood’. The part I don’t understand is that with all the different types of protection — condoms, birth control, the patch — teens still have unprotected sex.

And let’s be honest, some of the blame has to lie with the parents. Most teens who are sexually active said their parents avoided the subject. If the parent isn’t putting forth a good message, what will? Because some teens don’t have their parents to help them, they turn to what they know. We are surrounded by music, shows, and movies that support if not encourage, casual sex.

We think, “It’s one time..I won’t get pregnant.” We think we’re superheroes, untouchable. But really, we have the same chance of ending up in that waiting room, filling out papers for that hasty abortion. If your going to have sex, at least be smart about it. Get educated, get protected, and get a room.